Hidden Longings: that fight wasn't about the dirty dishes

How often do you fight with your partner over something "silly?" She leaves her dirty coffee cup on the table, he forgets to pick up your almond milk at the grocery store, she doesn't text you back for two hours. While part of your brain can see each of these moments as small blips in the larger story of your relationship, a more primal part of you feels furious, hurt, insecure.

Sweeten the Request: a lesson in effective complaining

The number one behavior that predicts divorce? Contempt--any expression, tone, or statement that somehow communicates "I'm better than you" or "I don't respect you" to your partner. Communicating your complaints in a more skillful and gentle way is more effective--both in the moment and in the long-term.