We often think of Love as a mysterious feeling -- one that shows up, casts its spell, and eventually wears off. However, what we've been learning over the past few decades is that love, bonding, and relationships can and do make sense. There are ways to tend to our relationships and our own internal thoughts and feelings that help strengthen our love connections--creating a sense of safety and attunement that allows for deeper connections, the ability to repair the inevitable hurts, and the preservation of attraction and a sense of playfulness.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), developed by researcher and therapist Sue Johnson, is based on these Laws of Love, and is focused on helping partners create new conversations and ways of interacting that strengthen their bond. When we're stuck in a destructive dance with our partners--one of seeking connection, feeling rejected, and then acting out in anger or withdrawing in hurt--we often feel hopeless and lost. We might think, "We're just not compatible", or "This relationship has run it's course." But EFT offers hope and can guide us back to a sense of safety that allows partners to reach out for each other and reconnect.
Listen to Sue's talk about the Laws of Love...it's a 13 minute video, but well worth the time investment: