The number one behavior that predicts divorce? Contempt--any expression, tone, or statement that somehow communicates "I'm better than you" or "I don't respect you" to your partner. Communicating your complaints in a more skillful and gentle way is more effective--both in the moment and in the long-term.
Not Knowing is such a common part of the human experience. And yet how often do we add to this uncomfortable spot by pushing ourselves to Know something before we Know it? How many times have you pressured and berated yourself to Know something, to make a decision, to "get over it", or to "figure it out already?"
As we gather more information about our loved one, our understanding of them becomes more nuanced and rich, and we devote more space to them in our mind and heart. Without a richly drawn map, we cannot know our partner. And without fully knowing them, we cannot love them deeply.